Rules of the debate

Unlike last week, the debate tonight will not have the same free-flowing format. Responses must be limited to 90 seconds (for Palin's sake), and the candidates cannot directly address one another (for Biden's sake). One can only imagine the number of feet Biden could put in his mouth if he could ask questions of Palin.

So here are some more rules I thought of:

1. Answers that do not contain anecdotes of single mothers from Michigan who only work two jobs because they got laid off from their third will not be counted
2. All questions directed towards Gov. Sarah Palin must contain the answer within the question itself.
3. All questions directred towards Sen. Joe Biden must contain at least three, but no more than five, double-negatives.
4. Each candidate has three lifelines: Poll Ohio and/or Florida; eliminate two possible answers; and phone the ghosts of Ronald Reagan and/or John F. Kennedy.
5. Each candidate may take 5 minutes of maternity/paternity leave.
6. Every mention of "God's will" results in 20 extra seconds of response time.
7. Neither candidate can roll Gwen Ifill's wheelchair off the stage.
8. If Gwen Ifill cannot attend, the host will be decided by coin toss. The back-up hosts are David Letterman and Katie Couric.
   
9. The first candidate to reach 10 "that's what she said" jokes wins.
10. In the event of one candidate Rick Rolling another, the Rick Rollee must automatically forfeit.